"This above all: to thine own self be true" -- shakespeare

the new film "accepted" deals with issues that most young people will be forced to face at one point or another. not just acceptance into a good college but acceptance of a different way of thinking. even given the financial advantages of going to an academic college directly out of high school, it's not the right choice for everyone. it's a problem i wrestled with during my junior and senior years of high school. i'd been conditioned all of my life to desire to attend college and believe that it was the right thing to do. yet, nearing the end of my junior year, i was no longer certain i believed all of the things i had been taught growing up -- especially college. i wanted an experience not a classroom. i wanted to follow my passion, not a textbook curriculum. as such, i looked into many different state colleges and a few out-of-state options trying to find one suitable for my goals. i found none. it wasn't the money that became the problem; i qualified for hope and even had a couple small scholarship offers. Lee university in tennessee was willing to pay my first year's tuition for me. but even the religious schools didn't offer what i desired. i was looking for hands-on ministry experience. i didn't know what i wanted to do for the rest of my life but i knew what i wanted for the immediate future. in the end i entered into a church internship program that lasted nine months. for the next five years i interned and worked at the church and earned an associates degree in biblical studies and leadership. was it the right choice for me? at the time i believed so. now i'm not so sure. they say hindsight is a great teacher and i agree but even hindsight is limited for now. even on my deathbed i may not be able to say with surety if i chose the better of the two options. but today and every day until my death i can say with a clear conscience that i chose for myself. i reviewed the options i had and listened to the advice of others but in the end i chose my own path. and while this path has given me many opportunities which i otherwise would never have had it has also left me with numerous regrets. do the gains outweigh the losses? i do not know. were the accomplishments i achieved worth the sacrifices i made? some days my response is an adamant "no". but i will never really know, will i? all we can do in life is that to which our conscience leads us at the moment.