for all of those who ask why - 22 october 2002
it may not be good poetry but it's honest...
on my knees i waited for you
on sunday mornings i waited for you
friday nights i traded my plans for you
eighteen years and i postponed my life for you.
twenty-three years of opportunities are gone
twenty-three years and disillusionment has come
twenty-three years of providence is gone
twenty-three years and now antipathy has come.
do i follow teachings from yesterday
do i allow myself to stray
do i hold on to what i was taught to believe
or do i stand up and brush off my knees?
all my life kneeling
all my life praying
all my life seeking
all my life wasted?
on my knees i feel so small
on my knees i cannot see at all
on my knees i can no longer pray
on my knees i cannot stay.
on my knees i waited for you
on sunday mornings i waited for you
friday nights i traded my plans for you
eighteen years and i postponed my life for you.
twenty-three years of opportunities are gone
twenty-three years and disillusionment has come
twenty-three years of providence is gone
twenty-three years and now antipathy has come.
do i follow teachings from yesterday
do i allow myself to stray
do i hold on to what i was taught to believe
or do i stand up and brush off my knees?
all my life kneeling
all my life praying
all my life seeking
all my life wasted?
on my knees i feel so small
on my knees i cannot see at all
on my knees i can no longer pray
on my knees i cannot stay.
posted by scøüpe at 1:13 AM
1 Comments:
scoupe, i totally understand what you're feeling here. i'd love to talk to you about it, since in some ways we've gone through the same disillusionment. although i never had the courage to postpone my life like you did.
for now i'll just say: it doesn't have to be what it always was. the god we grew up with was disfigured, a distortion. and there is a real one who is Love.
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