five rolls of yesterday
so, i picked up five rolls of film from the camera shop today. in those five rolls are my sister's wedding, a trip to the zoo, teresa's last birthday party, our last trip together to savannah and random slices of the life she and i once had together.
it's been about six months and i still think about her everyday. i don't have enough experience in these matters to know if that will one day stop. i don't know if i want it to. i still think about two other females virtually everyday. not in a bad way. not out of depression or hurt or loneliness. i don't very often miss anyone. ever. these are the only three people i actually miss; maybe i will miss them forever.and maybe one day, teresa and i will talk again. maybe.
(at least, i'll actually get something scanned and onto my profile soon.)
it's been about six months and i still think about her everyday. i don't have enough experience in these matters to know if that will one day stop. i don't know if i want it to. i still think about two other females virtually everyday. not in a bad way. not out of depression or hurt or loneliness. i don't very often miss anyone. ever. these are the only three people i actually miss; maybe i will miss them forever.and maybe one day, teresa and i will talk again. maybe.
(at least, i'll actually get something scanned and onto my profile soon.)
posted by scøüpe at 11:48 AM
8 Comments:
Urgh. There was this day a year ago when I picked up a roll of film and got slammed by pictures I forgot were there. Like I needed to relive in visual what was already still on my mind all the time, like you say. My experience (that I wish I didn't have) is that the everyday miserable-type thinking about it does finally go away, the genuine caring (esp. when you see the person again) does not. But also I totally remember it, that time of not wanting thoughts of the other person to go away. Crap crappy broken relationship crap. I hate it. Hate it for you. I've found it therapeutic to eat entire bags of sour gummy worms. But then, I'm of the gender where eating sugary stuff makes all things better.
To echo...
Blarg.
There myself, and it actually just hit the 6month mark for me, too. It gets better, aching-heart-wise, but the thinking-about will probably hang around for a long, long time.
Time, and time, and time, that's all. Well, that's what my brothers keep insisting will help. I'm not sure about the whole "getting over it" thing, I don't know if that actually ever happens, but there's a moving-on and a coming back together as yourself, if that makes sense.
As to sour gummies, I say nay: I'm a classic chocolate Cadbury bars (any flavor) kinda girl. And, well, oreos. And cooooookies......
Hugs are definitely the best, even if it seems clichéd to send a "virtual" one. So, here you go: {hug}. For you, too, Becca {hug}.
:D
aww, the cute little virtual hugs! those are sweet!
but yeah, the getting over: not so much. more like learning to carry it w/you, as a part of who you are. which also leads to thinking @ it only every now & then (like weekly, rather than hourly), b/c it IS a part of you, so you don't have to think @ it for it to be there.
er somethin'.
also yay for oreos. they make whole days better all at once. mmm. so good.
and boo to sour sweet schtuff. who's idea was that in the 1st place? bleaugh!
lastly, guess where i saw beth robida today?
chick-fil-a?
just a guess...
harbins elementary!
yeah, i gotta go with my brother on this one. sugary is so much better than sour.
and fuck forgetting. i enjoyed the time we spent together and i do not regret it. moreover, i refuse to let momentary trials allow me to regret the time i spent with someone i truly loved. i mean, hell, who else have i loved in my lifetime? i refuse to let the bad times outweigh the good. and a great, big, heart-felt "screw you" to all those who think i should.
'nuff said.
I can only hope you didn't mistake my post as advice to "forget" anything. 'Cause that sure-as-heck wasn't what I meant.
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