obadiah...(i think)

so i guess things could be worse. there is a story in the bible about a prophet - i think obadiah was his name - whom god told to marry a prostitute and love her regardless of her past. and he does. and eventually she leaves him and goes back to whoring herself out. and he goes after her and brings her back home to their family. i think things have worked out for the best.
i saw teresa at the halloween party saturday night and felt nothing toward her - no anger, no love, no regret, no jealousy. time does wonders for things. i've never held on to feelings for some one once we lost contact with each other. it's my natural way of doing things.


the only exception is celeste kish, of course. but i think we may all have known that already.

rules for life - rough draft

1) F*ck the B*tch. (literally or metaphorically depending on the person and the timing).
2) Damn the man.
3) Golden Corollary I: assume others follow the golden rule. as such, do unto others as they do unto you because obviously that's what they want in return.
4) Golden Corollary II: do it to them first.
5) Get it while you can - Janis Joplin
6) Everyopne should have at least one vice.
7) All things in moderation - Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac
8) Above all things, to thine own self be true - Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac
9) To some rules, there are no exceptions.
10) If at first you don't succeed, give up and try something else.

taking life six months at a time

so if anyone is wondering what's up with scøüpe, here it is. térèsa and i broke up last monday. the move to savannah has been post-poned and possibly canceled. i may still move somewhere sometime soon but for now i've sworn to work for crawdaddy for at least two months. and i'm looking for a one-bedroom loft apartment in the gainesville (possibly buford) area with a six month lease. now single, i can seek to achieve my long-sought dream of actually saving some of the money i earn.
on a side-note, térèsa and i are still talking and spending some time together. our longtime friendship may yet survive the wreckage of our recently ended relationship. (when you live like i do, four years is an extremely long friendship and one worth keeping -- even if it does hurt sometimes.)

diachotomy - 5 october 2005

i hate you again today
same as yesterday.
tomorrow i may love you
but i won't know until then.

my heart swells one hour
and withers the next.
full of blood for now
but soon you'll bleed me dry.

inconsistently you love me
constantly bringing pain.
my hopes are fleeting
despair will surely return.

i loved you agian today
same as yesterday.
tomorrow i may leave you
but i won't know until then.

rain

you haven't truly lived until you've sat on a bench in the rain for no reason.